I am hanging upside down in the middle of the jungle thinking about overpopulation.
I find this quite peculiar as I live in one of the least populated countries in the Americas. With just over 380,000 people, Belize is one of a kind. I’m surrounded by rolling hills of lushness. Only a few individuals within a 20 mile radius and I still haven’t seen a traffic light in the whole country. It’s great.
Why is my mind even considering the idea of jumping onto this train of thoughts, which I could simply classify as ‘irrelevant’ to me here and now?
Well… I got to jump to really know the answer.
So Let’s go.
The root of all ‘socio-associated’ and planetary imbalances?
Maybe. I’m not opposed to that.
This blog is not another opinion on how we could help overpopulation through different approaches such as conscious birth control or by re-gaining subtle sensory awareness of our bodies.
Today, as I’m hanging, and I want to go deeper. Personal. Psychosomatic.
With that clear in my mind, I surrender to gravity.
How do I personally feel about overpopulation?
I dig deep to find my personal relationship to this topic.
I dig even deeper to find acceptance into what I find: vulnerability.
I learned it’s when I bathe in my weak spots that I find more clarity in the cause of them. Although it could be a little irritating sometimes and I’d like to negate them, I decide to stick with it.
Enveloped in this irritating tenderness there is a thought that has been coming up occasionally … but I’ve been avoiding a self analysis towards it.
The thought: SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING TO HAVE A FAMILY.
A pretty sad truth, but I face it.
*Guilt: an emotion that occurs when a person feels that they have violated a moral standard.
This feeling comes from a place of awareness in regards of what is going on outside my utopian bubble of blessed self-sustainability.
I see and I feel what is happening to the Earth.
I’m not blind and I’m not numb.
I chose the path of “wanting to know the truth". Wisdom ripped me out of the imposing story I had been wrapped in, lifted all the veils and showed me the light, but also the darkness.
I know about the impurity of the water and the scarcity of global resources.
I know the planet is getting raped, I feel her roars.
I see the rippling affect of our actions, I am aware of the economical crash we are experiencing.
I feel Global warming.
I know about the amount of life force we are stealing from the Earth in order to survive… In order for ALL OF US to survive.
All of these sad realities are very much consequences of the recent explosion of human population.
Too many bodies, too many minds... too much ignorance on how to balance it.
I have this hint of guilt for wanting to bring a child to this world... for the sake of the child and for the sake of the planet.
I think of the shift we are experiencing where a lot of us ‘New Age'/environmentally aware women are deciding to have less or no kids in order to re-channel all the energy it takes to have a child towards the regeneration of the planet. We are re-embodying our roles as Earth guardians.
I can feel this is what I am here to do as well.
So, with consciousness rising, are we gracefully and collectively choosing to rebirth diverse forms and shapes of the earth rather then rebirth another one of our species?
I’m still upside down….I stay with this perspective. Blood is accumulating in my brain and my thoughts thicken with it. I close my eyes and feel myself trying to push against the resistance of accepting this Global situation and my doubts on having a family.
I’m starting to feel sick, I pull my self up and go horizontal.
I feel sadness rising from the depth of my womb. Like a resentment of an unwanted child this force pushes through my stomach, squeezes my heart, continues pass my throat until it leaves my body in tears.
WTF I am thinking? … Am I accepting the possibility that I might make a conscious choice to not have the profound experience to create life inside my own womb?
It’s hard to look at things from different perspectives and accept the validity of our opposition... It's like looking through a monocular while keeping the other eye open and focus on both views.
I’m still travelling on this train, it takes a curve and I am now passing by memory lane.
I remember a time when all I desired was to have a family… I try to re-visit the sweet n’ sour feeling of “not knowing”. An ingenious time of egocentricity where the rest of the world was just ‘out there’. A time where ‘numb unawareness’ almost made things more simple…
Not that I didn’t care… I just WASN’T INFORMED.
The education and religious system in which I was brought up didn’t mention anything about the catastrophe the planet and our consciousness were really undertaking. It was hidden from me until I decided to take the ‘road less travelled’ and find out on my own.
I have been covered in propaganda, slaved by consumerism, injected with manipulative indoctrination; but here I am.
Away from all that and not wanting to be indifferent about the “out there” because I know that “out there” is Right Here , and once we get exposed to Truth, it is then our choice to accept or deny it.
I personally choose to base the reason and relevance of my actions to the inevitable and fascinating truth of interconnectivity.
I allow my rage to pass along with my tears.
I take my time to bring my feet back towards the ground. I feel the wooden floor and I slowly regain verticality. I close my eyes, go inside and softly sway to re-align with my center line of balance.
I get off the train and watch it travel towards the next destination, the next mind. I re-view my journey while I feel my feet and body re-grounding with gravity.
Family or no family? Full ‘Earth activism’ or half? How can we best contribute to this overly humanoid world and this time of planetary S.O.S ?
I think of all the million babies in the safety of their mother’s womb right now and feel infinite love for all of them and the men and women responsible for their new existence.
I think of all the people who are consciously deciding to not have a family and are devoting their most powerful creative energy towards the regeneration of the planet. I honor them and what they are doing.
I come back to my truth and this is all I know:
In whichever form or shape my own creative/re-creative energy will manifest into this world, it will be from a place of Love.
Whether it will be a child born through a conscious sacred union, or through millions of trees and infinite regenerative gardens. Whether it’ll be through radical social impact or the healing of others… I know it will be all for love.
Isn’t, truthfully, what it all boils down to? Love? …
Thich Nhat Hanh recetly stated "Only Love can save us from climate change".
Perhaps the core of the problem is not overpopulation itself. Maybe the real issue is the quality of the population that is trying to take over.
If each individual entity of our current dominant race would authentically think and act from a place of love and truth… would overpopulation even be an issue?
I like to give myself the pleasure to believe in dreamy hypothesis; it keeps me balanced.
I give the train one last glance before it disappears in the horizons of my subconscious where it’ll store some things and disregard others.
I feel grateful for the explorative ride in took me on and I find a beautiful conclusion of no-conclusion yet I know is not confusion.
Time will organically unravel the answer to any questions… my curiosity only likes to take a peak at the various possibilities. Why not?
I am not choosing a side, but at least I know exactly where I stand.
I open my eyes and come back to the here and now. The stillness of the jungle.