This is such an interesting and juicy topic, and too many times we don’t bring enough awareness to what it really means to live a sensual life and be fully sensual in our body.
In this post I will explore the common misunderstanding that has been associated with the expression of Sensuality, how HIStory has affected women, and unravel what being sensual really means. I will also share simple and accessible practices to reactivate and cultivate your sensuality in order to reclaim your birthright to live a life fully embodied in your body’s pleasure.
SENSUALITY VS SEXUALITY
Too many times when talking about sensuality, the word sexuality comes up. Through media, our society has used these two terms interchangeably or referring to sensuality as a light form of sexuality.
Because both sensuality and sexuality are essentially a pathway to PLEASURE through the physical body, we have mistakenly blended them to the point that we hardly talk about one without the other.
Now, let’s make it clear and simple:
Sexuality refers to what we do sexually, including our behavior, thoughts, and feelings about sex. It is connected to our erotic nature and our sexual organs - giving us the ability to achieve deep pleasure, arousal, and orgasm.
Sensuality refers to the feelings and engagement to our senses - our sense of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. Although not directly related to our sexual organs (but of course connected - as everything is) our senses also give us the ability to experience deep pleasure and even stimulate arousal.
As we can see, a person doesn't necessarily need to be sexual in order to be sensual - and we should be able to talk about sensuality without the stigma of sexuality.
A LITTLE HISTORY
As women, we have also experienced major collective trauma throughout HIStory because of the intimate relationship we hold with our bodies - and therefore our potential to feel and experience deep visceral sensations. Amongst many things, our collective trauma is also associated with the tragic European witch trials that took place between the 14th century and 16th century, where one of the major crimes for being accused of being a witch was “to be sensual”. And this is just one of many horrifying pieces of HIStory that we, as women, have to face and heal.
80% of the information we carry in our body comes from our ancestors, and knowing how much suffering was carried from the women had before us, we have found ourselves in a hard (yet potent!) time in history - in which we are unearthing the deep wounds of our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmother, AND we are also provided with a potential to heal, and change it for our future generations.
WOMEN AND SENSUALITY
As women, because our bodies are wired with an intimate connection to the cyclical way of nature through our monthly menstruation and the ability to create and carry life, (plus the magic of our spiritual, psychosomatic connection to our children even when they leave our womb) we are equipped with a heightened sensitivity that allows us to FEEL deeply through our senses.
Because the stigma of sexuality has also tainted our relationship to sensuality, we are placed in a sense of discomfort when expressing our sensuality.
Have you ever felt like you were doing something “wrong” by wanting to swim naked? Or that you should not make too much of an “hmmmm” sound when eating something you love? Or that there is no time to stop and smell a fucking flower?
I can probably guess that you answered YES to at least one of these questions, which is the sad truth of our reality right now: sensuality is shamed, and there is no time for it.
Well… I am here to tell you that we need to change this.
We need to heal our relationship to sensuality because we are ruining our human experience by denying ourselves the pleasure and ecstasy that we are equipped to feel.
Most of all, we are denying ourselves to fully savor the beauty of the earth. To be fully receptive to her bright, amazing range of colors; the sensation of droplets of rain on our skin; the infinite aromas of her flowers; the fruits she creates for us to suck on!
The earth, the ultimate expression of the Divine Feminine, has no shame and no limits in her sensuality… and it is time that we re-wire ourselves to be fully embodied and grateful for the experience of magic that our senses are able to give us.
LIVING A SENSUAL LIFE
So.... as we can now see, what we are talking about when we speak of living a sensual life is living a life connected to the pleasure that we can receive from our amazing senses.
I like to call them magical senses, as I truly believe that attuning and decluttering our mind and body to the point in which we can experience the full potential of our senses, is a pathway to experience life as the ecstatic experience that it truly is.
A sensual life is a mindful life
Is a life full of real presence with what our body receives in each moment.
Is a life in which we are in constant awe of what we are able to perceive and experience through our body.
It’s a life in which we dance with chocolate melting in our mouths at the sight of a beautiful sunset.
Doesn’t this sound amazing?
REACTIVATE YOUR SENSUALITY
To reactivate your sensuality we need to activate our senses. Here are three tips to start reawakening your magic senses.
1. SLOW DOWN
Our fast-paced, modern society, is thoughtfully designed to keep us as far away from the simple pleasures of life by keeping us very very busy. Most of the time we eat in a rush, shower fast, and let alone stop and smell the aroma of a fresh new bloom.
Slowing down is the first key to allowing yourself to experience your senses deeper. I know this is easier said than done, as a full-time mother I have very little time to even go to the bathroom. But there are small changes we can make.
When you are about to eat, take a moment to smell your food. And set an intention to yourself to eat a little slower, savor each bite, swallow completely before taking another bite or drinking.
When you walk from your home to your car, check out your surroundings, take that same walk you do every day a little slower, and notice the difference that it makes.
After your shower, take an extra 5 minutes to oil your body.
2. BE PRESENT
As we slow down, we also become more present. When we are fully present, we experience the totality of the moment. Obviously, this is a life practice of meditation, but you can start simple, and set your intention to be present with a few things throughout your day.
Perhaps you make a commitment to be present with your cup of tea in the morning, without looking at your phone or talking to anyone, and fully take in the aroma of your tea with every sip, and the sensation of the water traveling through your body… it might change the rest of your day!
None of this will be accessible to you if you don’t dare. Reactivating your senses and your sensuality is something that takes engagement from your part. And because it is something that has a stigma, a lot of time we don’t dare to do it.
So I dare you…
Will you sway your hips like I know you want to when you hear that song you like at the grocery store?
Will you pick a rose, caress your face, your arms, your shoulders, your chest, and discover how divine that feels?
I hope you will.
Allowing yourself to embrace your senses and live a sensual life is not only a gift to yourself, but to your ancestors and future generations.
With love and devotion,